Track 18
Just Add More Bonuses
Crossing the Stage
About this track
The offer is not converting, so you do what every desperate marketer has done: you start stacking bonuses like sandbags in a flood. It gets absurd, it gets loud, and somehow it feels logical in the moment. Just Add More Bonuses is the comedic breakdown of panic-selling — and the gentle nudge to fix the core.
For the builder who has ever tried to duct-tape conversion with bonuses.
For the moment you laugh and then go strengthen the offer.
If you are stacking the stack, this track is your mirror.
Player Just Add More Bonuses
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
I CAN’T SELL IT, I KNOW THEY TELL IT—
THE OFFER’S WEAK? JUST ADD MORE CREDIT!
I CAN’T STAND IT, THEY AIN’T CONVERTIN’—
GUESS I’LL STACK IT TILL IT’S BURSTIN’!
[Pre-Chorus]
So what if they don’t need that course?!
So what if that eBook’s just fluff?!
Just toss in another freakin’ bonus!
STACK IT HIGH, IT’S NEVER ENOUGH!
[Chorus]
LISTEN UP, Y’ALL—JUST ADD MORE BONE-ISS-ES!
GIVE ‘EM TEN! GIVE ‘EM TWENTY! GIVE ‘EM EVERYTHING!
LISTEN UP, Y’ALL—JUST ADD MORE BONE-ISS-ES!
DON’T YOU STOP! STACK IT HIGH! MAKE IT LOOK INSANE!
[Verse 2]
They ain't buyin'? I know why!
Didn’t promise lifetime access, right?!
Need some templates, need some scripts,
Throw in a call? MAKE IT FLIP!
Wait—should I add a swipe file too?
Screw it, I’ll give ‘em my ENTIRE ZOO!
BONUS ONE, BONUS TWO—
MORE BONUSES THAN THEY’LL EVER USE!
[Chorus]
LISTEN UP, Y’ALL—JUST ADD MORE BONE-ISS-ES!
GIVE ‘EM TEN! GIVE ‘EM TWENTY! GIVE ‘EM EVERYTHING!
LISTEN UP, Y’ALL—JUST ADD MORE BONE-ISS-ES!
DON’T YOU STOP! STACK IT HIGH! MAKE IT LOOK INSANE!
[Bridge]
"Okay okay okay okay, they’re STILL not buying—
WHAT ELSE CAN I GIVE ‘EM?!"
EXCLUSIVE V I P COACHING!
SECRET DISCORD GROUP!
30 DAYS OF PRIVATE VOXER ACCESS!
A FREAKIN’ SIGNED PDF!!!
OH GOD, THEY STILL HAVEN’T BOUGHT?!
[Final Chorus]
LISTEN UP, Y’ALL—JUST ADD MORE BONE-ISS-ES!
GIVE ‘EM TEN! GIVE ‘EM TWENTY! GIVE ‘EM EVERYTHING!
LISTEN UP, Y’ALL—JUST ADD MORE BONE-ISS-ES!
IF THEY STILL WON’T BUY, GIVE ‘EM A DAMN CAR!!!
[Outro]
Just add… just add more bonuses…
Maybe a free funnel audit…
Or… I dunno… a free puppy…